I handle more bodily fluids every morning than most people do in a... well, I really have no idea how many bodily fluids other people handle on a daily basis, but suffice it to say that I handle a lot. And nobody said a thing about this to me when Mylo was born. No one said there would be a veritable cyclone of bodily fluids flying around me every day. And that many of those fluids would require my direct involvement in some manner. Not a thing. There were a lot of snarky little comments about how little sleep I was going to get. There were a lot of jokes about babies being 'game-changers'. But there wasn't a chapter in any book, not a conversation with any older dads, not a thing anywhere about preparing oneself for the sheer tidal wave of biological matter that was fast approaching. Now, in all fairness, a big part of this reality comes from the fact that I am a Dad/Pet Owner. Having a dog and a cat is a big part of the equation. But just the same, I could've used a warning. Not that I could've done anything about it, I'm just saying... someone ought to put the word out.
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| As the old saying goes, 'from shit, grows flowers'. |
Yesterday afternoon, Mylo and I took a walk in the street - Smith mostly - with Mr. M holding a plastic bottle of Aunt Jemima maple syrup which he had found in the fridge and which he had refused to let go of, no matter what. It passed hand from right to left as I was getting him dressed, dangled against my back as I was carrying him downstairs and scraped the ground with unnerving consistency as we were walking the sidewalk.
ReplyDeleteWell, I'll tell ya: A baby might start a conversation, or a dog, but an unsteady toddler with a wide crop of unruly blond curls, wide blue eyes, and a bottle of Aunt Jemima maple syrup dangling from his hands, that will stop the world in its stracks. Any time.
I think Mr. M enjoyed the attention very much, so next time you decide to take a walk with him down the street, don't be surprised if he insists on carrying on a bottle of Aund Jemima.